This is literally the greatest invention to come out of the far east since gunpowder (and slightly less destructive). For those of you who have never been, there's two buffet-style counters where you select your noodles, then throw whatever toppings you want on them and then take it to a large stone grill where they cook it right in front of you. If you don't like your food, you have no one to blame but yourself. For those of you in Cincy, there's one in Mason. Stop reading this now and go. No seriously, go now!
A good friend recently introduced me to the Venture Brothers and my life-arc has been on a steady increase ever since. The show thrives on the random reference (my specialty) and none isn't a better example than basing a villain on the former Secretary of State under Nixon, Henry Kissinger. Add in a pun in his name and we're golden. It's like they wrote the character specifically for me!
On Friday, I was at the season opener for my beloved Xavier Musketeers (the best basketball program the last ten years in the midwest -- I got stats to back it up, refute me IU and UK fans, I dare you). Anyway, a Western Michigan fan (I know, I was shocked they existed too) tapped me on the shoulder and asked me "what the hell is that blue thing?" I chuckled to myself and explained the legend of the Blue Blob finishing with, "basically, we have two mascots which seems like a lot until you realize the Reds have like 12."
So he hasn't done much lately, but much like Florida, it's going to take a lot more than a prolonged period of irrelevance for Mr. Walken to get booted out of the Top 25.
The best part of the recent South Park trilogy (quickly becoming an annual tradition that I am completed on board with), Mint Berry Crunch could be the most hilarious concept for a superhero that I have ever heard of outside of Green Lantern. I mean, a character who's weakness is yellow? What a great way to mock actual superheroes. What? Green Lantern is a real superhero? Hm.
A perennial Top 10 finisher, Don had a rough year, falling apart in the last episode where he got engaged to his secretary without completely destroying her emotionally first. What happened to the Don Draper that left bodies in his wake every time he opened his mouth? That's the Don Draper that made it to the big time and that's the Don Draper we want to see again.
I'm still riding high on him after he released this letter the night LeBron James took his ego to South Beach. A lot of commentators said that it was petty and players would be wary of him in the future, but it wasn't for them. It was for the fans and every Cavs fan I talked to absolutely loved it. Oh, and act like if you were the owner of the Cavs you wouldn't have felt exactly what he said in the letter. He just had the balls to say it publicly. Much respect to him.
Without a doubt the greatest announcer to ever live period. One recent GJ moment I'd like to share with you to perfectly encapsulate the man, the myth, the legend. Gus called the Bills-KC game which instantly made it the best Sunday of the year thus far for me. On one play in the fourth quarter, we threw a screen pass to CJ Spiller for a gain of 4. Pretty mundane in the eyes of most people ... except Gus Johnson! GJ raised his voice an octave and started screaming as Spiller crossed the line of scrimmage. Most announcers would have backed off when they realized that the play wasn't going anywhere. Not GJ. He sold it with a, "And Spiller SHIMMIES his way for a gain of FOUR!" (Side note: want to make a basketball game more exciting? Mute the TV and use the Gus Johnson soundboard to announce the game).
I'm a big fan of the Sim City franchise and this Facebook game is pretty close. It's pretty fun and you all should play! (Ok, so I need to have "friends" to get some more space for my university, District 5 -- yes that is a Mighty Ducks reference, thanks for noticing -- and this is a subtle way to try to recruit some "friends" without sending out those annoying Facebook invitations).
Probably my favorite writer in recent memory, his script for Social Network was outstanding. Combine that with a great appearance on Entourage and you have yourself an appearance in the Top 25.
#15 -- Stanley (from The Office)
After a rough season last year, The Office seems to be back on track this year, highlighted by this cold opening, one of the best in recent memory, utilizing a terrific secondary character.
Always a big fan of America's favorite fake newsman, Stewart took a big step up in the rankings with his Rally to Restore Sanity. While it may not have been the life-changing affair that some may have erroneously expected it to be, Stewart did a good job of getting his point across: instead of trying find the difference between people, we should try to find the common ground. It's the only way we can get things done.
Statistically, Germaine was the second best player on the Ducks (behind the showboating, cake-eating Banksy). Yet poor Guy is one of the most unheralded players on the team. Averman gets more credit; Averman! He blows! Yet time after time, Averman is taking the face-off while Guy watches from the bench. I'll also point out, that Guy is the only one to get a girl in all three movies. Take that Charlie!
I'm a big fan of Mr. Depp's and his latest movie (The Tourist) looks pretty solid and he looks tremendous in the trailer. Depp is best known for playing very bizarre characters but he's shown that he can play it straight in movies like Public Enemies and Chocolat (not that I've seen that chick-flick, because I haven't, I mean, I only watch awesome guy movies with explosions and gratuitous nudity and -- alright, I have seen it. Excuse me while I go watch The Rock 12 times in a row).
#11 -- Stephen Colbert
I watch the Colbert Report on a daily basis so Colbert was always safe for the Top 25 but he vaults up to 11 thanks to this performance of All I Have to Do is Dream with Elvis Costello.
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Exclusive - Elvis Costello - All I Have to Do Is Dream | ||||
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I recently watched The Rock. That should be enough to justify this ranking.
Often under appreciated, Randy Marsh is the glue that keeps South Park together. His most recent contribution was during the Inception-mock where he went into the dream to save Stan and wound up being a butterfly looking to score some "butterfly poon." Classic Randy Marsh.
Staff Sgt. Johnson set the world record for fastest mile while in a bomb suit. He ran a mile in the 80 pound suit in 8 minutes, 42 seconds. Let that sink in for a minute.
Personally, I'm pumped when I get in an 8 minute, 30 second mile and I run naked (just kidding, I'm not allowed to run naked any more).
#7 -- Yoshima Battles the Pink Robots, Part I
I recently bought Rock Band III and have enjoyed the hell out of playing some classic ditties like Radar Love, Warewolves of London, Bohemian Rhapsody and this catchy little number by the Flaming Lips:
I've been a fan of the Sports Guy for quite some time but what gets him in the Top 10 is putting the Bills in not-last-place in his most recent power rankings. A remarkable feat for a fan of a bitter divisional foe especially when the Bills are the only winless team in the NFL. Simmons correctly identified that the Bills are playing better than a lot of teams and for that reason, he receives the tremendous honor of being in the very first Top 10. Congratulations Bill Simmons!
You may be thinking that they earned this ranking for winning the World Series. Well, yes and no. Mostly no. What earned them the 5 spot was that they took time from celebrating their advancing to the NLCS after defeating the Braves to honor Bobby Cox. Arguably the classiest thing done on a baseball field since the Yankees let the Marlins win the World Series in 2003.
On one of the funniest shows on television, Cam is by far the best character. Everyone loves big, gay characters and they don't come any bigger or gayer than Cameron. Interesting side note, the actor who plays Cameron (Eric Stonestreet) is not gay but the actor who plays Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) is. I would have never guessed that and it shows how good an actor both guys are.
The best duo on television, Troy and Abed have the best on screen chemistry I have seen since Turk and JD in their prime. Another interesting side note, Troy (Donald Glover) got his start as a writer on the Daily Show. See, this blog is entertaining and educational!
The best player on the worst team (record-wise) is the punter. Go figure. I've already briefed you on his greatness so let me throw some other informational tidbits your way. He was an All American in hurdles at Pittsburgh St. He was the punter on the All Decade team for the NFL. He has eight career tackles and two career TD passes with a career passer rating of 117.9. On the most recent radio broadcast, he had the most player endorsements during commercials (three). Basically, he's way awesome.
The only manager I have ever known, Bobby Cox is the definition of class and baseball knowledge. I don't know what I'll do without old Number 6 leaning against the railing of the dugout steps. The Braves appear to be in good shape heading into next year, but it just won't be the same without Bobby.
