Freud Was Right ...

Ochocino is looking to
provide his fans with all
sorts of gratification with
his new cereal.

Anyone else run across this story on ESPN.com? Apparently, someone put the wrong prefix for a phone number on a box of Chad Ochocinco's cereal, "Ochocinco's." Proceeds from the cereal, produced by Kroger, go to Feed the Children, whose number was incorrect on the box.

Now the shocking part of the story isn't that Ochocinco is trying to rip off former-Bills-great Doug Flutie's Wheaties-like Flutie Flakes, but that the number on the box led callers to a sex phone line. Presumably, they listed it as 1-900 instead of 1-800 (not that I'm an expert on these matters ... why are you laughing?). A simple mistake that could have been avoided if only Kroger had a hungry, young go-getter on their communications staff. Perhaps someone with a Master's degree who grew up eating Flutie Flakes and knows what football-player-sponsored breakfast cereals should be. Someone who started a blog because he's so bored at home ...

Swing and a Miss, Facebook

I present to you, ladies and gentlemen, the worst selling item in the history of cell phones! It's well documented that Facebook peddles crap, but this takes the cake.

E-Dunc Misery Watch: Day 3,917

One of the most important things in the world to me is the Buffalo Bills. This explains three things about me: where my sense of humor comes from (defense mechanism), why I'm so pessimistic, and why I'm constantly on the verge of a homicidal rampage (joking ... mostly).

Anyway, the Bills made a decision this week that perfectly sums up our front office: we cut our Week 1 starter and our 13th "Quarterback of the Future" Trent Edwards. Now, if you polled Bills fans before the season, roughly 99.9% of them would have ranked Trent's performance last year somewhere between "unbelievably terrible" and "Rob Johnson" (NOTE: for Bills fans, there is no playing worse than Rob Johnson).

Despite all of this evidence the Bills front office decided to give ol' Captain Checkdown one more shot at the start of the year. After two games of dropping back in the pocket, pissing his pants and throwing the ball to the physically closest receiver for a gain of two on 3rd-and-12, the Bills caught up with the rest of Bills fans and benched Trentative in favor of former Bengals-great and Ivy League-standout Ryan Fitzpatrick (who has the third highest Wonderlich score in Combine history, which I think we can all agree has a direct correlation to Super Bowl titles).

Fitzpatrick played well against Belichick and the Cheaters leading the Bills to a less-embarrassing-than-expected loss 38-30 this weekend. The Bills responded by cutting ol' Fraidy Cat loose on Monday because apparently you can go from starter to worthless in a week.

Finally, the Bills can get some
payback against the Jags for Rob Johnson,
seen above in his natural position, sacked.

Edwards was scooped up less than 24 hours after he was cut suggesting that there might have been some sort of trade market for him (which the Bills naturally didn't even explore). Where did he land? Jacksonville. I'm personally hoping they make him their quarterback of the future and we can finally have some karmic retribution for them hoodwinking us into trading for Rob Johnson (granted, the Bills organization isn't exactly difficult to hoodwink).

I'm just excited for by the Bills' current QB depth chart:

Ryan Fitzpatrick: 58.3 PCT, 23 TD, 29 INT, 68.6 RAT
Bryan Brohm: 58.6 PCT, 0 TD, 2 INT, 43.2 RAT
Levi Brown: 7th Round Draft pick out of Troy, cut after Training Camp

Bills Football: Feel the Excitement!

It Begins

After popular demand (read: one person told me I should start a blog), I have decided that my thoughts and witticisms can no longer be selfishly kept to myself. You will get a glimpse into a mind that some have described as "odd," "confusing," and "effervescent."

So sit back and enjoy everything from the plight of Bills fans to movie recommendations you didn't ask for.